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froggimus_rexLook, Ma, I ficced!
Title: With Friends Like These...
Fandom: Chronicles of Narnia: The Horse and His Boy
Word Count: 552
Rating: Maybe high PG-ish?
Summary: Several years post-book. Bree is a very helpful friend. Maybe. Kind of. Not Really. Look, he tries.
It was the height of summer. Sweltering by Archenlander standards, and uncomfortably warm even to those used to Calormene summers. But however oppressive the heat, it was the least of the worries of the blond youth sitting against a tree in a shaded dell, gingerly poking at his rapidly swelling black eye.
Of course, it didn't help his mood at all that the stallion grazing nearby, gray coat dappled further by the light filtering though the tree cover, would every so often let an equine snicker sneak past his lips.
Cor briefly considered throwing something other than a glare in Bree's direction as he failed to suppress another bout of snorting. "You're not helping."
"I'm afraid I don't see what the problem is," Bree said, cropping at the grass. "You usually wear your -ahem- your war wounds with great pride."
"This is different!" Cor's tone held a most unprincely note of peevishness.
"Because it was the young Tarkheena?" Bree asked, then before Cor could reply continued. "Because you could always claim it was Corin, she certainly hits hard enough."
"It's not because she's a girl." Not that he'd ever admit it if it was. "Not that you can even tell she's one half the time."
Bree considered this a moment, ear flicking thoughtfully. "I'm sure that you could tell right before she hit you. All things considered."
Cor's unintelligible, strangled squawking was accompanied by his arms milling about frantically as Bree continued, oblivious. "I suppose that's what you're worried about. It would hardly do to have it spread about that the crown prince of Archenland was caught spying-"
"I wasn't spying!"
Bree continued to ignore Cor's protests. "-and when she was in such a state too-"
"I didn't know she was going to be there, let alone doing that!"
"-suppose you can't really help it, Cor my lad, raised as you were-"
"It would have been fine if I hadn't fallen out of the tree!"
"-don't think anyone's considered you have no idea about the proper way to go about courting."
Cor's mental processes screeched to a sickening halt mid-protest. "Courting?"
"No matter." Bree nodded, coming to a decision. "Now that we're aware of the problem, we'll just have to fix it. It's a good thing that I am just the Horse for the job, both knowledgeable and discreet."
Amidst his stammering and wild gesticulations, Cor had meant to say something along the lines of not having intentions of courting anyone, let alone that snooty, haughty, stuck-up, argumentative, and it's not like anyone would want to see her...like that in the first place. What came out however was. "You? What do you know about courting?"
"Definitely more than you," Bree said in tones of great offence, stamping a fore-hoof for emphasis. "You forget that I was believed to be nothing more than a dumb beast, and when they believe that they're the only thinking creatures present...why the things that stable-boy and Tarkaan alike will do with serving girl and Tarkheena."
Cor could feel heat rushing into his cheeks as a great rush of fear and mortification rolled over him. Midway through Bree's far, far too detailed explanations of things he didn't even know were possible to do, let alone on horseback, there was only one manly thing left to do.
He fainted.
Title: With Friends Like These...
Fandom: Chronicles of Narnia: The Horse and His Boy
Word Count: 552
Rating: Maybe high PG-ish?
Summary: Several years post-book. Bree is a very helpful friend. Maybe. Kind of. Not Really. Look, he tries.
It was the height of summer. Sweltering by Archenlander standards, and uncomfortably warm even to those used to Calormene summers. But however oppressive the heat, it was the least of the worries of the blond youth sitting against a tree in a shaded dell, gingerly poking at his rapidly swelling black eye.
Of course, it didn't help his mood at all that the stallion grazing nearby, gray coat dappled further by the light filtering though the tree cover, would every so often let an equine snicker sneak past his lips.
Cor briefly considered throwing something other than a glare in Bree's direction as he failed to suppress another bout of snorting. "You're not helping."
"I'm afraid I don't see what the problem is," Bree said, cropping at the grass. "You usually wear your -ahem- your war wounds with great pride."
"This is different!" Cor's tone held a most unprincely note of peevishness.
"Because it was the young Tarkheena?" Bree asked, then before Cor could reply continued. "Because you could always claim it was Corin, she certainly hits hard enough."
"It's not because she's a girl." Not that he'd ever admit it if it was. "Not that you can even tell she's one half the time."
Bree considered this a moment, ear flicking thoughtfully. "I'm sure that you could tell right before she hit you. All things considered."
Cor's unintelligible, strangled squawking was accompanied by his arms milling about frantically as Bree continued, oblivious. "I suppose that's what you're worried about. It would hardly do to have it spread about that the crown prince of Archenland was caught spying-"
"I wasn't spying!"
Bree continued to ignore Cor's protests. "-and when she was in such a state too-"
"I didn't know she was going to be there, let alone doing that!"
"-suppose you can't really help it, Cor my lad, raised as you were-"
"It would have been fine if I hadn't fallen out of the tree!"
"-don't think anyone's considered you have no idea about the proper way to go about courting."
Cor's mental processes screeched to a sickening halt mid-protest. "Courting?"
"No matter." Bree nodded, coming to a decision. "Now that we're aware of the problem, we'll just have to fix it. It's a good thing that I am just the Horse for the job, both knowledgeable and discreet."
Amidst his stammering and wild gesticulations, Cor had meant to say something along the lines of not having intentions of courting anyone, let alone that snooty, haughty, stuck-up, argumentative, and it's not like anyone would want to see her...like that in the first place. What came out however was. "You? What do you know about courting?"
"Definitely more than you," Bree said in tones of great offence, stamping a fore-hoof for emphasis. "You forget that I was believed to be nothing more than a dumb beast, and when they believe that they're the only thinking creatures present...why the things that stable-boy and Tarkaan alike will do with serving girl and Tarkheena."
Cor could feel heat rushing into his cheeks as a great rush of fear and mortification rolled over him. Midway through Bree's far, far too detailed explanations of things he didn't even know were possible to do, let alone on horseback, there was only one manly thing left to do.
He fainted.
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Date: 2008-05-13 02:45 pm (UTC)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OTP
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Date: 2008-05-13 03:03 pm (UTC)And then Hwin had to correct them both because Aravis was too busy laughing.
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Date: 2008-05-13 03:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-14 02:14 am (UTC)AWESOME.
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Date: 2008-10-15 11:52 am (UTC)