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For [ profile] mpoetess

5 Things Cal told Xander that she wouldn't tell Bridge.

1. "You're far too dashing to be a pirate, you taste like space evil, we shouldn't be doing this, feels so god just touch, don't want hurt to him, did Faith do this to you too?"
2. That her nightmares now included black gloves on fire.
3. It wasn't that she didn't trust Bridge to be there for her, she was just too terrified of her last bit of trust being shattered to ask him to.
4. She'd have made Angel fill in "Carson" for Alexander-who-wasn't's last name at stakepoint if she'd had to.
5. Despite appearances being around Bridge didn't make her cry. It was just one of the few times she felt safe enough to.

5 Times Seely and Door *almost* had Teh Sexx0rz.

1. Stupid lust spell.
2. "Look it was a whole body-warmth sharing thing and we needed the friction to stay alive. I'm totally glad you found us when you did. Really!"
3. It really was yummy space evil.
4. "Now when you say 'you have to have slept together' do you mean that literally or ephemistically?"
5. Stupid creepy assassins who couldn't wait just fifteen more minutes.

5 Things Autolycus misses about Fandom High

1. His students. That was a crack team of thieves in the making right there.
2. The-somewhat-less-psychotic-and-far-less-murderous-than-the-one-in-his-universe Callisto
3. Three words. Free satellie porn.
4. The girls from the Sin.
5. Lee Adama's arms. Some things are meant to be universally missed.

5 Things Harper didn't mention about MCA in his message to the Next Poor Sucker

1. Just how much he'd tinkered with the security systems. After all, he'd disarmed the death rays.
2. You just never knew when a person might have a thing against squids in the plumbing system.
3. So what if he'd been halfway through installing a potentially insane AI to help run things when he'd left, not like there was any chance of anyone stumbling across it in the system.
4. That he was fairly sure there was a very good reason for one of the dryers not being able to open, and that there might be puncture in the space-time continuum to blame.
5. The "special" holosuite programs Quark had installed. He figured it would be a nice surprise.

5 People *Zack* would like to burninate, and why

1. Jamie Madrox after the Parent's Weekend where he nearly got Zack commited. Again.
2. Stupid firebender with stupid UST with Katara.
3. eBay snipers. He wanted that authentic Bitterwoman prop whip dammit!
4. People who hurt animals for kicks.
5. Stupid ex-cheerleader FBI Agent with stupid UST with Dr Brennan.

5 Times Jo was *glad* her mom came to Fandom.

1. When she didn't have to spend Parent's Weekend hiding weird things about the school from her.
2. When Ellen told them the best way to hunt the bogeyman was to have milk and cookies at the kitchen table during Weetiny Weekend 2.0
3. Every single breakup. Especially when she swapped the salt rounds for buckshot.
4. The wealth of embarrassing stories about Uncle John she was suddenly able to remember.
5. Being able to say "Thanks for telling me Dean was my half-brother BEFORE I made out with him. Really!" was so much more satisfying in person.

5 people even Ares is smart enough not to piss off.

1. Principal Washburn. Especially during her second trimester.
2. Aeryn Sun, at any time.
3. That Skank kid. Having that song she wrote playing in his office all day long got too much far too quickly.
4. Miho. At least not when there wasn't an ample supply of cannon fodder around.
5. Rory Gilmore. She was just too unnaturally chirpy.
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Froggimus Rex

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